… is now available for you to read on Slackjaw! What’s even more surprising is that I finally released something that’s timely. If your schedule’s too busy for a Star Wars marathon in the two days before The Mandalorian and Grogu releases, you can get a 4-minute emotional panorama of the films with What Your Favorite Star Wars Film Says About You! This is a Slackjaw member-only story, so you’ll have to register and get at least one month of Slackjaw membership to read it. For those with tight budgets: if you can prove in the comments that you shared this piece with three other people, I’ll give you a free link!
I was absolutely a Star Wars Kid growing up, and 90% of what I write has a strong humor element. I’ve been building up to writing this satire my whole life. That said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention John Peck’s Your Moral Alignment, Based On Your Favorite Star Wars Movie, which arrived on Slackjaw in time for this year’s May 4th celebrations. Peck’s take on the fandom is respectful and earnest, which was how my piece’s first few drafts began. While subsequent edits for my version cranked up the snark, I’m glad that there’s still room for love in this franchise, so check his out too!
P.S. After mocking the fans, it’s only fair that I open up with my own ranking of the films, starting with the best and ending with the worst. I’ll update this with M&G after I go see it (and after I see any other ones, because no matter how good or how bad these movies get I will always be part of the problem).
- Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
- Episode IV: A New Hope
- Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
- Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
- Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
- Episode VII: The Force Awakens
- Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
- Solo: A Star Wars Story
- Episode I: The Phantom Menace
- Episode II: Attack of the Clones
- Star Wars: The Clone Wars
- Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker